A simple synchronicity

I just read Linda Ronstadt's charmingly unpretentious memoir Simple Dreams, which I enjoyed very much. Many celebrity memoirs are tell-all, score-settling brag-o-grams, but none of this is true of Ronstadt's effort, which she appears to have written without the aid of a ghostwriter. She is unstinting in her praise of her colleagues and rivals, barely touches on her romances, and underplays her own commercial success to the point where a reader unfamiliar with the pop music scene of the '70s and '80s might be forgiven for wondering if she was really that big a deal. Even the Booklist reviewer seems to have been a bit misled in this regard, writing that Ronstadt "sold more than a million records" in her career. (The actual figure is north of 30 million records in the US alone.) 

One little incident recounted in Simple Dreams struck me as interesting in terms of the stuff we talk about on this blog. It's a very specific synchronicity:

The inspiration [of performing overseas in smaller venues] was short lived. We were soon back in the USA, pounding the same old circuit in the same distinctly uninspiring arenas. Add to this the gnawing loneliness of life lived perpetually in motion, with not enough time in any one place to nurture relationships or build trust. I was beginning to feel miserable. And trapped.

One night we were playing in Atlanta. We had spent the afternoon fooling around in the little shops that had been established in what is called Underground Atlanta, the recently excavated, fire-charred remains of the pre-Civil War city. Big, smudgy, black-ringed eyes were in style then, and I found what seemed like a particularly exotic way to achieve it in one of the little shops. It was an ancient cosmetic called kohl – new to my experience – which was some kind of black mineral ground into a fine powder, and recently shipped in from India. There was also a blue one, which was a departure for me, but I figured if I couldn't change my life so easily, I could at least change the color of my eye makeup, so I bought that too. It was packaged in a little clay pot with a pointed wooden stick screwed into the lid to use as an applicator.

I was hot to try it out and went immediately to the dressing room of the place we were playing (another arena) and started to smear the stuff around my eyes. The applicator stick and powdered medium were unfamiliar and clumsy for me to use, and I had accidentally dotted my cheeks with what looked like the blue measles. I finished the job of cleaning off all the little stray blue blobs and wondered what I was going to do for the forty-five minutes until I had to sing. I had finished the book I kept in my purse and was scowling at the concrete floor – wishing we were still in a European theater with cherubs [on the walls] and that I didn't have to face an all-night drive in the bus after the show – when someone knocked on the door, bringing me out of my little sulk. It was one of the security guards, who handed me a book that someone had sent backstage with a note attached saying that it was something he or she thought I might like. "Oh goody!" I thought. "Now I won't have to be bored."

I looked at the cover: The Vagabond, by Colette. "Never heard of this book," I thought. Never heard of Colette, either. She had just one name. Like Cher.

I opened the book and began to read. The story is set in France in 1910. La Belle Epoque! My favorite era! There is a woman about my age who performs in music halls sitting backstage in her dressing room. She is applying blue greasepaint circles around her eyes, and some of it has run down her face. Blue for her too? She also uses kohl. Kohl again! I just heard of the stuff that afternoon.

What else? She is kind of bored. She has already read the book she has with her. She is waiting to go onstage and do her act. She has lost inspiration to continue in her career as "a woman of letters" and just trying to establish herself as "a woman on the stage." Things are not going as well as they could, and she knows that she is "in for a bad fit of the blues." She is thinking about her dog and her kind-of-awkward boyfriend whom she misses somewhat. There is a knock on her door …

I have a beloved Akita dog and an awkward boyfriend somewhere. I feel that I'm "in for a bad fit of the blues." I can relate!

I finished the book that night on the long bus ride. I started to ponder: How can I work in a more theatrical setting, in smaller theaters, and not a different place every night?

As she tells it, immediately afterward she called a friend in New York for advice. He suggested that she come to New York and meet Joseph Papp, the innovative producer known for his "Shakespeare in the Park" productions. The meeting led to Ronstadt's casting in The Pirates of Penzance, a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta later made into a movie. The play, which was a considerable success, afforded her the change in career direction she'd been hoping for.

Did the Colette book sent by an unknown admirer help prod her in a direction she was meant to go? Or was it only chance? 

Comments

[Bruce Siegel]

Allright--Linda Ronstadt! One of my musical heroes. Her albums from the 70's, with songs like Faithless Love, Prisoner in Disguise, and Love is a Rose, have brought a lot of joy into my life. I still love to sing and play that stuff myself.

Doesn't strike me as your usual taste in books, Michael. (But then, I don't what kind of music you like.) Anything in particular inspire you to read it?

Speaking of singers, here's a current favorite. I can't listen to her without tearing up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQcx3SbKrmA

[Michael Prescott]

I read it because, like you, I've always liked Linda Ronstadt - one of the few performers I've seen in concert. I also happened to be on a plane with her about 15 years ago, and she was very courteous to the other passengers and came across as a modest, unassuming person. I remember that she boarded the plane after everyone else, and that she had only two carryon items - a large handbag that contained knitting materials, and a hardcover copy of Crime and Punishment.

Sadly, she cannot sing anymore; she has Parkinson's, which makes it impossible for her to hit the right notes. (This isn't mentioned in the memoir, but it was revealed recently. It's why she retired from singing.)

[Wax Frog]

A minor sync of my own - I'd never heard of Colette either... until today, via a magazine blurb promoting a book about authors and their eccentricities.

[Matt Rouge]

Nice post!

[Rossoli]

Looking upon Linda Ronstadt's experience with an outside statistician's eyes, the event isn't very spectacular, I think. The giver most likely did find the story apt for Linda, perhaps she/he even knew something about Linda's personal relations, dog etc. If so, the similarities between Linda and the woman become less unexpected. On the other hand, must synchronicities be so spectacular to be regarded synchronicities (or spiritual messages)? I know several events for which the odds weren't particularly high, but that meant a lot to the people involved. An example: Not long before my father unexpectedly passed away, he happened to see some lines in the Bible that talked directly to his heart. He never used to read the Bible much, as far as I know. My mother mentioned the episode to me shortly after he had left us. A few weeks (perhaps months) later she also mentioned this episode to one of her friends, that became surprised since she just had read and reacted on the very same lines. She added: ”Shall also I die now?”. And so she did, shortly afterwards.

Well, perhaps that was a high odds synchronicity when thinking about it. I know other events in my family where the Bible has played a role in presenting messages to people in need of comfort, perhaps of little value to a skeptic but of great value to that person.

Tuesday, I took a walk and passed a handful of cars parked near a workplace. The first one exposed 'BAH' on its registration sign, straight in my face. That made me think of Barbara posting here since she began one of her later posts with that pithy? word. By some reason I got the name Rebecca in my mind. Later that day I did some bank business using Internet. I received a random (at least it should be) six digit control code from the bank. I got 777777. Quite unlikely, but such things happens. Today I passed the same parking place as I did Tuesday. The sign of the first car, parked where I'd spotted the now vanished 'BAH', said 'FED'. My pattern looking brain can't make anything out of it. Not yet anyway. Now, let's assume that a Rebecca reading this blog becomes lucky these days, would that be considered a synchronicity or just the result of pattern searching minds? I personally would say the latter since it has nothing to do with me, but if spirits are involved they might be playing around a bit and I might be wrong. Actually, I think that if spirits are around they should take the opportunity to interfere with your blog Michael, if you encourage it (I certainly understand if you feel reluctant to do so). With all the spiritually gifted people reading it there's some potential, I would say.

[Matt Rouge]

Rebecca is the name of my ex-girlfriend that I still have 未練 for!

[Ginny]

Bruce, I think Jackie Evancho may actually BE an angel!

[Bruce Siegel]

"Bruce, I think Jackie Evancho may actually BE an angel!"

Glad you agree, Ginny!

When I first heard her sing, it was in the midst of (as always) reading and writing about the endless debate as to whether God and the spiritual realm are real.

And then suddenly I hear this voice, this astonishing ability, and I'm moved to my core. And I remember thinking: any universe in which such beauty can be found is a sacred place, period. I need no further proof.

I would enjoy Jackie's music even if she were an adult, but her youth adds an extra dimension, don't you think? Maybe she reminds us of our own innocence.

[Juan]

At this point I am with the skeptics, because I think it is more likely that these cases are mere coincidences.

[Douglas]

I wrote a post recently regarding an attempt to contact my spirit guide, who seemed to be called 'Rebecca'

[Rossoli]

Douglas, that might be where I got the name from! I just know one person with that name, whom I rarely meet and have no relation to, so I wondered where it came from. I wondered if it was just my subconscious playing with me. Thinking about it, 'Rebecca' seemed to replace 'Barbara' every time I thought about her Bah post. Strange. Is Rebecca somehow connected to Barbara? I don't hold it for unlikely that there might be a spirit trying to come through - the 777777 event can indicate it. Would be interesting if you Douglas, or somebody else could try to find out more about 'Rebecca'.

[Rossoli]

I've thought a bit more about synchronicities. That made me change my opinion a little (I even reevaluated the story I wrote about above). Synchronicities obviously need observers to be revealed. The observer can be said to create the synchronicity by connecting the different events to each other in her mind. Often we can talk about look-up synchronicities where the observer goes to places where she will experience the events and thus assist in their creation by her moves. These places can be in her physical environment, but they can also be on Internet, in the paper, on TV and even in her mind (the first event only, else it would be far too easy :) ). Sitting at the same spot doing exactly the same thing, e.g. throwing dices, can also produce synchronicities (in mathematical theory each throw can be regarded as independent from the other and the number of eyes showing up on the dices shall not depend on earlier throws). You may get six eyes several consecutive times. That's also a synchronicity if you consider them related. Even the sequence 3,6,2,4,3 might be considered a synchronicity if it means something special to you. I'll go even further by stating that the events in a synchronicity can be casually related also, as long as it's uncertain whether the second event will arise soon enough after the first event. Even bus arrival times (or perhaps their absence) can be subject to synchronicities (though I guess not particularly interesting to a broader public). This makes synchronicities difficult to evaluate and easy to dismiss as just nonsense. But they are not, and certainly not to the people experiencing them. No mind. No synchronicity.

So the observer creates the synchronicity, by her actions, by notifying the events and by relating them to each other and often to herself or persons around her. She interprets the events. The question is whether there is something more to be read from them – are they manifestations of a connected spacetime, an invisible web spanning over time? To me, having experienced many low probability synchronicities, the answer is yes, definitely. I even believe that the observer can be spiritually engaged in creating them in a complex pattern of influences, where different psi abilities interfere. If there's more than one person involved in a synchronicity their minds can form and interact in a communicating system (eventually joined by free spirits). Mind creates synchronicities. Synchronicities can be of spiritual origin.

The question whether something is a synchronicity or only chance should be modified, I think. There exists no true 100% chance alternative (but well above 99%). The true randomness belongs to theory only. Random number generators have been scientifically shown to be possible to alter by minds. The observers ability to interact with their environment even by extraordinary means should always be taken in account. The nature and strength of this interaction is unknown and can vary considerably from case to case. Events in a synchronicity are always connected, even if the node is a person's mind only.

Synchronicities are often very personal by their nature. Another person may not at all react on the very same events. They remain silent to him.

To me, the really good synchronicities are those that are being revealed because of my own actions (it lessens their 'proof weight' but increase their emotional impact). You may say that if I ask sufficiently many questions and dig sufficiently deep I sooner or later will find a connection, and 'voila' a synchronicity is revealed. And you're right! But if you ask just one question and only shovel away the upper layer of dirt that argument will weaken. You can say I have a vivid imagination and see connections where there aren't any. And you're right again! I have a vivid imagination and see patterns where there aren't any. I'm aware of that to. Without imagination and pattern seeking minds neither I nor Linda Ronstadt would have had any synchronicity to talk about.

From a skeptic's position few (if any) synchronicities will survive. They usually can be dismissed as mere chance and the relation between the events reduced to imagination only. And if calculated one by one, the odds will not be particularly high for most synchronicities. But for a guy like me, synchronicities have been of great importance and even partly formed my life. A calculated probability (if it was possible) for all these synchronicities combined into one man's life will be an infinitesimal small number.

[Art]

What I've experienced with synchronicities is what I think is a synchronicity for me and I find interesting may not evoke any feeling in someone else. It only has meaning for me. It's like it was meant for me alone. So there is no use sharing them because oftentimes it's like other people don't even see it. They are like, "Meh?" I get no response whatsoever from those I share them with.

One other thing. When I experience a synchronicity I often times ask myself, "is it something or is it nothing?" Or I'll say to myself, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

[Rossoli]

Art, I usually don't speak about these things with people around me. I think you're right about that they don't understand you. Perhaps they just think that you have a vivid imagination. For the time being this blog is the only place, besides selected members of my family, where I tell about spiritually related experiences. I've found that to be a good strategy, but that depends of course on the people around you.

[Rossoli]

In my BAH-777777 story I wrote ”My pattern looking brain can't make anything out of it.” I missed a couple of things, in my opinion making this a good example of a synchronicity, with you Michael taking part in its creation.

I'll go through the different events in this synchronicity in more detail. The most important thing to make a synchronicity out of something is that the different events coincidence in time. There's no rule saying it must be the same day, not even during the same week, but the idea of synchronicity will of course weaken the more days passing between the events.

A (hypothetical): Michael, you read and process (in your mind) the synchro story from Ronstadt's book. Perhaps you did so the very same day I had my events?

B) I spotted a car's registration sign that 'talked' to me. The car was the first in a gathering and it exposed its front registration sign right to my face when I came walking. I estimate that I pass between ten to thirty parked cars in my surroundings an ordinary day. I seldom look at their registration signs. To me, 'BAH' is an unusual English word. I've never used it myself. I probably wouldn't have thought much about it, hadn't it been for Barbara's post.The letters on the sign could have been 'GTR', 'SXV' or any other combination meaning niente to me. They could also have said 'CUP', 'BIG', 'NET' or something else emotionally neutral. But they said 'BAH'. 'GOD' and 'BAD' are two other English three letter words talking to me, but I just now can't think about any more. I'm shore there are a few, but not many. How many times a year do I react on a car sign? Definitely less than ten, including when I'm on the road (not too often). And how many times is that word an English word (my second language)? About one? The sign directed me to your blog, Michael.

C) The name replacement. When I thought about Barbara's post again I got the name 'Rebecca' instead of 'Barbara' in my head. It happened again and it puzzled me. 'Rebecca' seemed stronger connected to my experience than 'Barbara' did. Douglas, I'm shore that I earlier had picked up the name from your posts. It can be my mind playing around, or it can be that the same source as you received it from also influenced me. How often are names replaced in my brain like that? Not often, for shore. I first had Barbara's name clearly in my head and then it seemed to weaken (it still was there though). 'Rebecca' further strengthened the connection to your blog.

D) The 777777 number. If I had spotted '777' on a car sign I would have noticed it but not cared much since the likelihood to see such a sign is relatively high. But being presented a six digit sequence with all '7' by a random number generator, once out of about hundred 'trials' during a year, that's an event with quite high odds. Even if I lived for 1,000 years it would be unlikely for me to get that number. It was '777777' that made me really pay attention to the previous 'BAH'-event, since nothing particularly else happened these days. To me, 7 is an emotionally charged number. 1, 2 and 4 e.g., are not. Seven is also a positive and spiritually related number. Could it been that I influenced the random number generator by psychokinesis so that it produced this special and highly unlikely number (I hadn't even thought about it)? I doubt. Based on previous experiences I think it's more likely that an external spiritual force was acting (much more likely than sheer luck). 'Rebecca' seems to support my hypothesis.

E) I spotted the 'FED' sign on a car parked where 'BAH' stood before. It seemed to strengthen the importance of 'BAH' even further. The combination of 'BAH' and 'FED' I leave to the reader to interpret.

F) You create this thread, Michael. How often do you write about synchronicities? I made a quick search. For 2013 I did only find this single thread. Anyway, your initiative was very apt for me. I presented my own synchronicity from two days earlier, related to your blog, and made it part of your thread about synchronicites. We seems to have timed it quite well :)

[Tony M]

A beside the point observation: the excerpt is nicely written. Simple, direct and captures a voice. Kudos to her for the good job.