A little more on my newfound aversion to argument. In the past, I was always ready to defend my position - which was, of course, "the truth" - at a moment's notice. Imagine this scenario:
Me: The sky is blue.
Someone Else: The sky is green.
Me: You're simply wrong about that. I can cite dozens of sources attesting that the sky is blue, not green. There are optical reasons for is blueness, involving the refraction and diffusion of sunlight. And there's the evidence of your own eyes! To begin with, let's do a Google search for "sky" and "blue." We get 34,400,000 hits. But a search for "sky" and "green" yields only 26,400,000 hits. This shows, right off the bat, that blue is associated with the sky more often than green is. Now if we look at the dictionary ...
Etc.
But now my approach is more likely to be something like this:
Me: You think the sky is green? Interesting. I must admit I don't see it like that, and I think most people would disagree with what you're saying. Nevertheless, it's fascinating to find someone who has that perspective. Maybe if I look at the sky in a certain way, I can also see it as green. In any case, thanks for sharing your insight. It would be a dull sky if everyone saw it the same way.
Much better, no?
Now, I can already hear somebody fuming, "Darn it, facts are facts, and the sky is blue!" But if a person sincerely thinks the sky is green, we're not going to change his mind by haranguing him about it.
And what difference does it make, anyway? The sky will continue to be whatever color it is, regardless of anyone's opinion. Arguing about it merely wastes time and creates friction.
Intellectuals, in general, put a lot of stock in argument, which is their speciality, their bread and butter. This focus on arguing spills over into TV discussion shows and political debates and dueling op-ed columns. It has inspired a host of TV shows, movies, and books about combative lawyers who never admit defeat. It is the raison d'etre of talk radio. And argument is all over the Internet.
But maybe this emphasis on the value of arguing is mistaken. Maybe we would be better off, and more content, and less stressed out, if we simply accepted people for who they are - which includes accepting people's ideas and opinions for what they are. Maybe we should enjoy diversity, rather than trying (fruitlessly) to stifle it.
Just maybe.
Academy of Lagado: http://www.jaffebros.com/lee/gulliver/bk3/chap3-5.html
Posted by: Henry James | January 26, 2006 at 11:47 PM