Just asking

I'm wading into deep waters here, but I must admit that this is something I just do not understand.

From a USA Today article on country singer Mindy McCready (all emphases added):

Mindy McCready says she still loves the man charged with nearly beating her to death earlier this year, and her two suicide attempts were the result of their troubled relationship....

[William] McKnight was charged with attempted murder in May after he allegedly broke into the country singer's home and assaulted her....

McCready described the attack and recalled being choked and "gurgling on blood." She broke into tears several times.

"That feeling of not being able to breathe is something I'll never forget," she said.

But McCready said she still loves McKnight and has been with him since the attack. She ... became pregnant by McKnight unintentionally in July and is carrying his baby.

She blamed the violence on drug use, and said she didn't think he would hit her again. She said she hasn't been able to heal emotionally because McKnight hasn't shown remorse.

"He doesn't think that he's done very much wrong," McCready said.

Now here is a woman who has been beaten and choked by her "boyfriend" after he broke into her house. He was a drug user, and he has shown no remorse. Things were so bad she tried to kill herself - twice.

So WHY does she still "love" this guy? WHY would she still be with him? WHY would she expect better behavior from him in the future?

Does she have some fantasy that she can "fix" McKnight and turn him into the perfect partner? Or is her self-esteem so low that she secretly thinks she deserves to be choked and assaulted?

I know she's pregnant, but the child would clearly be better off without this kind of daddy.

When I see a report like this, I just have to shake my head in amazement. How do people allow themselves to get so badly tangled up in a web of violence and craziness? And why is it that some women will let men walk all over them? What are they thinking?

I have no profound thoughts on this. I just don't get it. I really don't.

Comments

[Margaret Falk]

I don't get it, either. It's probably rooted in not just McKnight's family history (guessing at least one of his paretns was abusive) but also McCready's. Those are the ties that bind, and what makes bad things seem almost normal. Abuse--verbal and/or physical, is familiar. In some cases, women's whole lives are tied to their abusers, and they literally don't believe they can survive financially, etc., if they leave. But McCready has plenty of money.

I also think that this society (and pretty much every society) is harder on women than men when it comes to what you "should" do. You should be able to make this work. You aren't trying hard enough. Tie this with the romanticized picture that all little girls get shoved into their heads from early on--that true love is the ultimate goal, and the only thing that matters--and you've got a real little potent brew going.

Mindy needs help, although in the long run she's going to have to figure it out for herself. If I were her manager, I'd stage an intervention. And then get fired.

And why do they always bring a baby into the middle of shit like this?

Just some thoughts.

[Matthew Cromer]

Michael, I have something I'd like to send you via email. Can you drop me an email at matthew.cromer@blast.com?

[Matthew Cromer]

DOH!

wrong email address. The correct one is
matthewcromer@blast.com

[julia]

I don't get it either. Goes to show you beauty (& the lady is beautiful), fame & fortune isn't the formula for happiness, but I sure would like to try it ;^)
The lady obviously needs help & I hope you will allow herself to get it.