Recent Posts
What were they thinking?
Some signs of the times ...
I suppose it takes a dirty mind to see something wrong with these.
Guilty as charged.
Happy Easter!
In the spirit of the holiday, here is a heartwarming video about the world's most beloved rabbit, the Easter Bunny.
Poem for a rainy Sunday
In a comments thread, a reader objected to my use of the term "skeptic" when applied to debunkers. He argued that the word denotes someone with an open mind who is simply looking for good evidence. In reply, I said that while this was what the word originally meant, today it refers mainly to debunkers. Language changes; the meaning of words is not set in stone.
Ruminating on this, I came up with a little poem.
Suppose tomorrow we all agreed to
Use "elephant" to mean "mosquito."
In language, usage is king,
So before long you'd feel the sting
Of the pesky elephant.
The word's other meaning - irrelevant.
Campers would carry elephant spray
To keep the thirsty critters at bay.
Stores would be stocked with insect repellant,
Each can emblazoned with the word "elephant."
But what of the big beast, you say.
Would it go nameless? Nay!
There's a backup term:
"Pachyderm."
And now for something completely different
For some reason I was thinking of an old Saturday Night Live commercial parody today. Google allowed me to find the text online. The voiceover was done by the late, great Phil Hartman.
The commercial is for a product called Happy Fun Ball, an ordinary-looking rubber ball.
Update: Wikipedia has an entry on Happy Fun Ball!
YouTube has the actual clip!
A Google search for "Happy Fun Ball" produces 113,000 hits!
And I thought I was the only one who remembered this thing.
Wedded bliss
I admit it's stupid, but this slideshow made me laugh.
Hat tip: Ace of Spades.
Cleansing the palette
After the high drama of my Internet radio appearance, with all its attendant controversy, it's time to relax with some humorous tomfoolery.
First up, the best five seconds you can spend on the Internet: YouTube's Dramatic Chipmunk.
(I'm not sure that thing actually is a chipmunk. Looks more like a prairie dog. Whatever, it's still cute as hell.)
Then there's an oldie but goodie, the classic Sneezing Panda.
Though the video quality is poor, the giant mechanical spider is always worth a look. Some enterprising movie producer ought to buy this thing, wrap it in foam latex and yak hair, and make the ultimate giant tarantula movie, without a single frame of CGI.
For cruel humor at the expense of a hapless telemarketer, check out Tom Mabe's inspired riff. (Note: It's funnier if you don't read along.)
Finally, if you missed my appearance on Marcel's show, or you just want to relive the experience again and again and again, you can find it as an MP3 file in the AfterlifeFM archives.
Material girl
The homepage of my ISP asked this trivia question today: What is Barbie's last name?
I didn't even know she had a last name. It turns out she does. In fact, she has a whole biography. The Wikipedia entry on Barbie tells us:
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. According to the Random House novels of the 1960s, her parents' names are George and Margaret Roberts of Willows, Wisconsin. Barbie has been said to attend Willows High School in Willows, Wisconsin and Manhattan International High School in New York City, (based on the real-life Stuyvesant High School). Barbie has an on-off romantic relationship with her beau Ken (Ken Carson), who appeared in 1961. Like Barbie, Ken shares his name with one of [Barbie creator] Ruth Handler's children. Mattel announced in February 2004 that Barbie and Ken had split up, but in February 2006 they were back together again.
Barbie has had over forty pets including cats and dogs, horses, a panda, a lion cub, and a zebra. She has owned pink convertibles, trailers, jeeps and more. She also holds a pilot's license, and operates commercial airliners in addition to serving as a flight attendant. She has been, among many others, a veterinarian, an astronaut and a diplomat.
Barbie has indeed had an impressive variety of careers. In addition to the ones mentioned above, these include cheerleader, paleontologist, NASCAR driver, president of the United States, and yeoman on the Starship Enterprise.
The downside of Wikipedia's open-to-everybody style of editing is revealed in the discussion page about the Barbie entry, in which the more serious contributors complain about constant vandalism of the page by sarcastic kids. Here is one of many revisions that had to be deleted:
Barbie is a piece of crapy plastic that perverted 4 year olds adore. Unfortunately it is also the best-selling doll launched at the American International Toy Fair on March 9, 1959. The doll is a cheating slut who cuts out on 6 of her 9 husband one of whoms name is Steve. He was a scuba diving whale massacrer produced by Mattel, Inc. Barbie dolls and related accessories are all infected with multiple diseases which upon contac can kill a squirell, put an adult into a coma, or turn a child into an apple.
After numerous similar incidents, Wiki had to protect the Barbie page from further abuse by making it harder to revise.
The discussion page also notes this embarrassing incident from Barbie's past:
In May 1997 Mattel introduced Share a Smile Becky a doll in a hot pink wheelchair. Unfortunately, the Barbie Dream House was not handicapped accessible. Becky couldn't fit through the door or in the elevator.
And it gives us this Barbie joke:
A man goes into a shop to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter, looks at the various models on display and asks the shop assistant in a puzzled way: "Why is Divorced Barbie so much more expensive than the other dolls?" "That's easy, sir," replies the shop assistant. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's furniture..."
On a lighter note ...
... after my last post, here's a hot new children's toy.
Wouldn't you like to be the proud parent of the tot who finds this gift under the Christmas tree?
Hat tip: Ace of Spades.
Telemarketers
I just had to link to this audio of a hilariously cruel practical joke played on a telemarketer ...
I hate telemarketers.
HT: Ace of Spades.
