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Great stuff, recalls Pearson's Why Ghosts are Good for You:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eneB6u3kGu4

Very interesting, as well as the comment section, particularly comments from hospice nurses.

With these visions, a great many people feel that they've been visited by dead relatives, and there's a certain narrative to it. The case with NDEs is similar - there's a narrative to the "story." Neither consist of a disjointed series of images, but instead consisted of a story that - unlike most dreams - make sense as a narrative.

And one must wonder WHY these people report they're being visited by dead relatives. If they're having hallucinations, why not dream of being a millionaire, being a race-car driver, going swimming, or a million other enjoyable things? Why would the mind "make" this thing in particular up - why not dream of floating on a cloud, or of being comforted by living people?

Also, great video SPatel, and well worth watching.

Interesting post! This is a fascinating subject, and I say this as a human being and as a scientist... Thanks for the article!

I love stories about deathbed visions. I find them very comforting and uplifting. I love deathbed visions stories as much as near death experience stories. What is interesting to me is that a lot of people who aren't into this life after death stuff - when I'm talking about it - seem to be rather confused by the whole thing. It's almost as if they find comfort in just dismissing it and saying "it's hallucinations" as if that explains it? Maybe they find it fearful?

I volunteer at a local hospice house. We provide for the residents' (the dying) needs in their final weeks or days; which means helping them with whatever they need could be just someone to talk to, getting to the bathroom, bringing them meds, making sure they don't fall when they get too weak to be steady, keeping them clean, going for a short walk outside while they still can and even providing certain care in their final moments to make that passage physically more comfortable (e.g. helping keep the airway clear of fluids). Whatever it takes to provide comfort and dignity.

So I see a lot of dying people. It's been my observation that death bed visions are a little more rare than some of these articles make them out to be; rare, but they definitely do happen.

I was there once when a man died real hard. It was clear that he was having frightening/disturbing visions and was fighting against the whole thing.

My take away is that it is best to deal with unpleasant events in one's life while one is still able. Learn, forgive, make amends, make peace. Those whose lives are squared away and who are at peace normally pass over very gently and sometimes even happily. If they have visions, the visions are comforting.

It's funny that in all the NDE accounts I've read, nobody ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever sees aliens. Not once, after reading hundreds if not thousands. They see religious figures or dead relatives or guardian spirits, but not one alien. You'd think, if these are just meaningless hallucinations conjured by a dying mind, SOMEBODY would have seen an alien, given how prevalent they are in our cultural milieu and the extraordinary powers they often possess in media depictions. They'd make a perfect stand-in for gods, especially for unbelievers. Yet still not one alien.

Dammerung, that's a very interesting point. It had never occurred to me.

This would seem to be a key difference between NDEs and drug-induced experiences (e.g., LSD, DMT, or ayahuasca trips). The latter frequently feature bizarre inhuman creatures, often insectile in nature, not unlike the creatures reported by so-called "alien abduction" victims.
And as with the alien abduction stories, the insect creatures in psychogenic-drug experiences can be scary and hostile, and can even perform surgery on the unwilling victim.

I don't remember anything comparable to this in any NDE account. The closest analog might be rare reports of demonic creatures who chase or torment the experiencer, but as far as I know, they are never described as insectlike or alien.

Curiouser and curiouser ...

Good advice 'no one'.

Dammerung said:

"It's funny that in all the NDE accounts I've read, nobody ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever sees aliens."

Dammerung, if you had stuck to just five "evers," I would have let your comment slide. But six?

So I googled "nde and aliens" and came up with excerpts from three separate accounts. All lead me to the same conclusion.

First account:

| In the early stages I was bathed by some aliens beings however when I fell into insight into Absolute Love everything with shape and form disappeared and had absolutely no relevance.|

In other words, NDErs are not hung up on fixed forms and labels. Immersed in the world of spirit, they see that shapes are ephemeral, and labels like "alien" just plain silly—as we see in the next excerpt.

Second:

|What about aliens?  And parallel universes and life on other planets and UFOs and  and  and .... 

That's when I perceived a great yet quiet chuckle of amusement and like a pat on the head I was given the source into the top of my head.  It was like a giant stream and when my head was stuck inside of it I could see from the beginning of the beginning of the beginning of everything and nothing.  I saw the entirety of the universe from its big bang to big stop to big bang and to big stop, I had the memory of the universe. I understood cosmology, biology, spiritualism, consciousness, being, non being, physics, mathematics, basically I knew everything there is to know and un-know.   

G-d is everything that can ever be and everything that can never be at the same time and I am human so I can only understand it in human terms.  Even the best of humanity is still human and everything will be anthropomorphic.  |

Third:

|I HYPERVENTILATED AND STOPPED BREATHING. I FELT LIKE IN THE FORM OF ' ALIENS' BUT THESE MAY HAVE BEEN GUARDIAN ANGELS LIFTING ME AWAY FROM EARTH INTO THIS AMAZING BRIGHT LIGHT THAT WAS LIKE A TUNNEL.|

As I see it, a commitment to the abduction scenario and the concept of grays springs from a mindset that is rooted in the material world. (Which is not to say that, at a certain level of reality, they're not genuine.) But when you move beyond the physical, the focus shifts towards the *interior* world of love and compassion. And from that perspective, forms and labels are less stable and important.

Think of it this way. In the context of absolute *oneness*--which is certainly the essence of the NDE--how can a concept like "alien" have any relevance?

From the Near Death site:

http://www.near-death.com/experiences/notable/brian-krebs.html

"Some people have reported having an NDE while experiencing an alien abduction. Other experiencers have seen alien-type beings during their NDE. There appears to be a connection between these aliens and the beings of light reported in so many NDEs. Brian Krebs' NDE describes just such an encounter. Brian's NDE appears in Kevin Williams' NDE book entitled Nothing Better Than Death. It is reprinted below in Brian Krebs' own words."

"I then went to twelve beings of greater knowledge. They were in front of me and stood in a row. They were not human. They had no feelings of anything like judgment or authority, but seemed strong in themselves. They seemed taller than I did and they wore silver white robes. They had white skin, large heads and large eyes. I do not remember them having a mouth. Above them was a spirit. It was like a star as we see one from earth, but in size it appeared the same size as the heads of the beings. The spirit went to my left and hovered above the first being. I remember it was like a video of knowledge springing from the being’s hands, which were held in front of them."

It doesn't seem to be aliens necessarily, but then personally I don't think the alien abductions are encountering extraterrestrials...Kripal & Streiber get into this in Super Natural...

"You'd think, if these are just meaningless hallucinations conjured by a dying mind, SOMEBODY would have seen an alien, given how prevalent they are in our cultural milieu and the extraordinary powers they often possess in media depictions."

Just to clarify my conclusions about your interesting point, Dammerung.

You seem to be suggesting that the lack of importance given to aliens by NDErs supports the reality of the phenomenon. I agree, and would add that it also reinforces the NDE's central message that we are ultimately all one.

Because if there are no real divisions between us, then there's no such thing as an alien.

That's how deep the NDE goes.

Final thought:

That's what's so beautifully instructive about those three excerpts. In each case, the experiencer's focus on aliens simply . . . evaporates.

Michael said:

"This would seem to be a key difference between NDEs and drug-induced experiences (e.g., LSD, DMT, or ayahuasca trips). The latter frequently feature bizarre inhuman creatures, often insectile in nature"

Mine never did.

And now that I think about it, that's one of the reasons I find common ground with NDErs. Like them, my experiences were the *opposite* of alien encounters. They were a homecoming, a return to a place where there are no foreigners of any kind because the very concept has been laid to rest.

I have read of a couple accounts of NDE experiencers seeing alien-ish/non-human entities, and below this sentence is a link to such a report of a man seeing a grey humanoid in an NDE.

http://www.nderf.org/NDERF/NDE_Experiences/ross_f_nde.htm

Having seen some UFOs in my life (the only paranormal things I've experienced) I'm of the opinion that ETs are indeed here for whatever reason. Life is strange is all I can chalk it up to.

Why they don't ETs get brought up more in NDE type experiences could be any reason. I think if we do actually have souls that they are formless and only take solid form on this plane of existence. So naturally nobody would see many aliens on the other side. We should all be quite similar lacking these bodies.

"You'd think, if these are just meaningless hallucinations conjured by a dying mind, SOMEBODY would have seen an alien, given how prevalent they are in our cultural milieu and the extraordinary powers they often possess in media depictions."

But in previous comments you've been able to read reports of NDEs that seem to deal with alien beings. And your argument is not valid because someone can claim that NDEs are brain produced hallucinations but not random, but produced by thousands of years of cultural and biological evolution. I believe so? No, but because of the veridical and extrasensorial experiences and the cases Peak in Darien. By the way, they would have to continue studies on those elements of NDEs to draw conclusions under controlled laboratory conditions.

Similar research into death-bed communication is taking place at - The Final Words Project.
[quote] It is possible that the language of end of life is a "transitional" language that emerges as we transition from life here on earth to another life,
​or another dimension--what some people call "heaven" or "the afterlife." Deathbed conversation offers some indication that, indeed, another realm may exist beyond this one. [/quote]

http://www.finalwordsproject.org/

Stephen

What do you make of the "rarity" aspect to deathbed visions no one? I would expect you to see quite a bit of this phenomenon.

My grandmother passed away in November. She'd been sick for a while, and when visiting my thoughts always veered to whether a deathbed vision would occur. Hopeful, but didn't think I'd get to experience it. I didn't. She was hallucinating and mostly unconscious during her final days.

My aunt, a day after the funeral, overheard my mother and others (very religious folks) talking about Jesus and her reunion with my grandfather and what that must've been like. My aunt, always quiet, abruptly interrupts and says, "funny thing. My daughter and I were visiting her a couple days before she died. She was knocked out cold, but would wake up hallucinating regularly. One time though, she started speaking. Clear as day. Her eyes were still closed but she was obviously having a conversation with someone." She was extremely fearful of dying, but my aunt went on to say that one of the things she said (to whoever) was "yeah, I know, everyone has to die someday." Whatever it was, it gives me a tad bit of comfort knowing she was probably comfortable with her demise and no longer fearful. I don't know what deathbed visions really mean, but that's good enough for me. Glad to hear the research is opening up.

Bruce, interesting. I know of course there are accounts of life on other planets - Swedenborg, Bruno, et al. were very clear on that - but it was seen as a passing "Oh, of course Earth isn't the only homeworld" and not the centerpiece of the religious experience. I hadn't seen an account with an alien as the core being so thanks for expanding my horizon. The first case you presented is I think is the most interesting one - it looks like an almost exact substitution of the world "alien" for where other accounts use angel. There are no stereotypical markers for aliens, such as UFOs or weirdtech. I definitely wish we could hear from that person why they said alien there.

Art: " It's almost as if they find comfort in just dismissing it and saying "it's hallucinations" as if that explains it? Maybe they find it fearful? "

The fear of the skeptic or disbeliever is something seldom commented on. The suggestion that fear of the alternative - unimaginable oblivion - is what drives and creates belief in ghosts, an afterlife, religion etc, tends to be much more established as an argument. But its often struck me that the disbeliever is every bit as likely to be driven by anxiety about things he'd rather weren't true.

The concept of eternity is every bit as imponderable and stomach tightening as the idea of non existence. It is this alternative but less mentioned fear of death which may drive many people to want to dismiss evidence for survival.

Similarly if the believer may be suspected of fearing being alone in an pointless universe, another class of people should be equally suspected of being terrified of being watched over, or worse, judged by something "up there".

Finally there is the cultural chain of association between survival and religion. Afterlife = heaven , heaven = god, god = religion, religion = church, rules, condemnation of my private life etc. For these reasons, I suspect, any talk of ghosts and signs, survival and all the rest of it needs to be quashed for fear all the rest will be given credence.

Plus of course if you turn science fandom into a creed you never want to be taken as gullible like ordinary men. No one's going to fool YOU with their fanciful woo!

www.mysolace.com provides a coherent way of organizing afterlife affairs... users can setup scheduled messages to be sent to loved ones after a set period of time after they are passed away.. in a sense, users can communicate with loved ones from the beyond... there are many more services that enables you as a user to organize your social life and remain social after you are passed away.. check out the site and make your life and afterlife matter.

Why might people not see aliens? a. There aren't any, b. There are some but they're busy going to visit other aliens, c. They're there but you only see beings meaningful to you, d. who knows?

Dammerung said:

"I hadn't seen an account with an alien as the core being so thanks for expanding my horizon."

Actually, it's I who should be thanking you. As I tried to explain, what started out as an effort to prove you wrong turned into something else—the realization that while NDErs may speak of aliens, they abandon such concepts as their perspective deepens.

On the other side you experience and see what you focus your attention on. Because you exist in all places and all time at once (it's part of the physical property of holographic film) you experience and "see" what you focus your attention on. I'm sure that if you focused your attention on an alien planet you would see it because NDE'ers say things like "Me and the Universe were one" or "I was the Universe" or "I literally felt like I was everywhere in the Universe at once."

Excerpt from Mark H's NDE:
"Suddenly I thought of a mountain, I had seen as a child. When I looked up from the road there it was; The Mountain! Not just the mountain! But the most breathtaking mountain I had ever seen! Details the likes of which no one could imagine."
http://www.nderf.org/NDERF/NDE_Experiences/mark_h's_nde.htm

Excerpt from Mark Horton's NDE (not the same person as Mark H.):
"From this vantage point, I had to merely think of a place and time and I was there, experiencing everything about the place and time and people present."
http://celestial.kuriakon00.com/nde/mark_horton.htm

"I definitely wish we could hear from that person why they said alien there."

But you have not tried my objection: no content of experience may prove to be real in isolation. Only by comparing the NDEs with experiences of other individuals it can be tested if they are real. Hence the coherent NDEs while brain activity is too damaged, extrasensory experiences verified by other and Peak in Darien cases.

"What do you make of the "rarity" aspect to deathbed visions no one? I would expect you to see quite a bit of this phenomenon"

Sleepers, I don't know. I am a sample of one. Maybe my experience is somehow skewed. I look for these things, though. So it's unlikely they are occurring and I'm not noticing.

That said, there are many residents that appear confused and mumble to themselves (?). Maybe they are having visions and/or talking to spirits. I just can't say for sure.

One possible explanation for the rarity is that the residents themselves are distracted. It never ceases to amaze me that many residents lie in bed watching TV right up to the end. Even those that can still walk and talk.

On the NDE & Alien connection, in Super Natural by Streiber & Kripal it's noted that the weird alien visitations seem to involve the dead sometimes.

Whether these are the actual dead or just projections isn't clear AFAICTell.

Don't ayahuasca visions also sometimes involve the dead along with the various unusual beings?

"No researcher quoted in the piece explicitly endorses the idea that some of these visions may be veridical, but at least the value of such visions is not dismissed out of hand, as might have been the case a few years ago."
-M.P.

I really see the zeitgeist changing around the world.
For instance, in news reports concerning the recent death of Edgar Mitchell, the few major news outlets that mentioned his interest in the paranormal and subsequent founding of IONS treated the subject matter-of-factually, without derision.
Of course, they were reporting the someone's death, so I wouldn't expect them to be snide, but I noticed that a reporter on ABC News sounded openly respectful of Mitchell's work.

There are many other examples of this shift, but my point is that I really believe the passing of us baby boomers will mark the end of extreme reductionist materialism.

@Dammerung and @Bruce Siegel; Either way, it's interestingly odd. Then again, I think that sums up NDEs in general.

Rabbitdawg said:

"I really believe the passing of us baby boomers will mark the end of extreme reductionist materialism."

You mean I can best contribute to the cause by dying? :)

"You mean I can best contribute to the cause by dying? :)
- Bruce Siegel

Ha! The keyword here is "passing". Folks like us pass on, only extreme reductionist materialist's actually die.

Or something like that. :D

Rabbitdawg wrote,

||Ha! The keyword here is "passing". Folks like us pass on, only extreme reductionist materialist's actually die.||

Lol!

I see the same kind of shift gradually happening in the media, etc. Too many people are able to compare notes directly on the Internet these days, so it's harder for individuals to be told they're just "seeing things" by a few select media and be cowed.

One of my best friends is a nursing home nurse. She says the deathbed vision thing is somewhat rare but that it does happen. As she puts it, "not every day, not every month, but we see it a few times a year."

More common than deathbed visions at her home are ghosts and apparitions. Multiple witness sightings, etc.

Our young daughter, a teenager, was in a coma and near death from a long standing disease. Her vital signs said she was dying and my husband and I were asked to speak to her and see if she would respond. I touched her arm while her father held her feet. I knew immediately that she was deciding whether to go or stay and that it didn't matter and it was entirely up to her. She finally awoke,but said later she was up on the ceiling watching us and chose to stay because she saw the tears of the people she loved. She told me there were people all around her, whom she could feel but not see and she knew they were waiting to greet her if she decided to leave.

She is 30 now and we still don't know if she will outlive us, but I don't worry as much.

"More common than deathbed visions at her home are ghosts and apparitions. Multiple witness sightings, etc."

Can you tell us more, FDRLincoln? :)

Anniel,
Undoubtedly your daughter's NDE provides great comfort to you and her father. It is simple accounts such as yours that provide reassurance for me that the human spirit survives, at least for a time, after the demise of the body. I value these simple accounts more than all of the erudite philosophical academic reasonings of all the brilliant psychologists, philosophers, scientists, parapsychologists and mediums in the world.

Your daughter's report requires no explanation; it just is. -AOD

‘An octogenarian WWII vet had visions that were both disturbing and comforting:

The patient had never really talked about the war. But in his final dreams...

The article notes that disturbing visions, while less common, are not unheard of:

Not all end-of-life dreams soothe the dying.'

Michael, as the text of the New York Times article shows, these two examples are not accounts of ‘visions’, but of dreams.

Dreams about our past are probably quite common as we get to the end of life, especially since older people also start to focus more on earlier times during their waking hours.

The thrust of the article, in my view, is that these experiences (dreams, visions) should not be written off as the meaningless products of delirium. Rather, they should be used to help the person come to terms with their dying.

I think you’re reading into this story a theme that’s not really there. While there is a passing reference to ‘spiritual experience’ the thrust of the article is about findings ways to comfort the dying rather than ‘facilitating’ their ‘spiritual journey’.

That said, it’s a positive development that medical people are trying to take into account the ‘whole person’, especially during their final exit.

Apropos of nothing and everything, I just read this in one of the accounts on NDERF:

"To deny, fear, or hate anything in the universe is to deny a part of oneself, to be controlled by that part, and to divide oneself from something that God wisely allows to exist."

Yes!

Oh come on now, our Bruce! Even you must fear castration with a rusty pen knife. :)

Beautiful account Anniel.

Thanks for that.

-Saj

Sounds like you have practice, Julie.

j/k!!!

Julie said:

"Even you must fear castration with a rusty pen knife."

I know you're joking, but to be clear: I am as fearful a person as exists. But what I've discovered is that fear is acceptable. It's one of those things that (as the quote says) "God wisely allows to exist."

So rather than run from fear, I've learned to feel it, to explore it. (At least when I'm at my best.) Then I can release it.

That's why I posted that comment. On a difficult day, it was a reminder to myself, a pep talk.

Nice comment, Bruce! I have fought a battle with fear in my life too.

I know, I just couldn't resist, Bruce. :)

As we all know, fear is as important an emotion to our survival as any other. But it does need to be mastered (as best we can) and conquering fear is one reason why people engage in dangerous sports. After all, there can be no courage without fear. Whether it's emotional anxiety or physical fear, it really does help to breathe out deeply and simply trust. We all live with fear, whether we admit it or not.

(And I do know how a vivid imagination can play havoc with the old nerves.)

Remember that a claim to "rarity" is a MiHoDeAL claim. Such a claim cannot be made until 1. In depth study asking that very question is done first, and 2) Evidence is crafted from such intelligence which predicts or falsifies that very claim.

The scientific question "How prevalent are Near and In Death Experiences in the general population?" will be answered some day, but in the meantime, any proclamation that 'There is not evidence for..." or "This is a rare phenomenon..." are Wittgenstein Errors under science. It reveals never having been in a lab or participating in a scientific discovery yourself. Be very careful with such claims, and realize that this is bad method.

For me, and this is anecdote. I have had four close personal friends, and one business partner, all tough males who died-dead on the operating table or in terrible vehicle accidents - come to me privately to share their astounding In-Death (surgeon confirmed) Experiences. FOUR.

In each case, these are tough, no nonsense heads of businesses and organizations who have told no one (except for one of the men shared it with his immediate family)... They privately commented that they could not bear the ridicule or risk to their reputation and business and asked me to keep it to myself.

As a skeptic, I am very interested in the intelligence from data around this phenomena, and through the process of epoche' I keep them cataloged for a day in which more intelligence is revealed around the subject. I don't discount the construct that this is all hallucination. But the evidence I have seen bears potential falsification of that idea, if we would study it. This is a condition under Ockham's Razor called 'plurality.' We are neck deep, like mud, in plurality on this topic. Exclaiming "what mud? I'm a skeptic." the entire time.

Meanwhile, to my perception, these four men felt a bit liberated in being able to privately share the full account with a professional peer who was rational, had conducted science research, proved in life to be confidential, and yet whom would not dismiss their experiences out of hand.

The only rarity from which we suffer is genuine skepticism.

TES 8)

A now old thread I know but I'm in a position now to also address the "rarity" issue. My own brother is terminally ill, and sufficiently interested in the "paranormal", yet sufficiently of clear mind to report objectively his own increasing experiences . So far they have been categorically dreams, but meaningful and each marked by their vividness.. the most recent of which, 3 mornings ago, involved a visit from our late father. While categorically not physically real, he was also adamant it wasn't a dream per se. That's to say it had the perceptive quality of waking life.

In any case this was in hospital, here in Liverpool UK, and he spent the next few hours hearing accounts from all of hte nurses "ALL" of whom had seen it "loads of times" and were convinced by it.

The answer to no one's perception of relative rarity and The Ethical Skeptic's hope for a proper study may be in this paper I found yesterday, seeking to follow hospice patients over weeks or months and get the reports direct from the horse's mouth. http://www.nursingtimes.net/the-significance-of-end-of-life-dreams-and-visions/5072658.fullarticle (oddly this was openly readable when I found it last night but requires registration now I look at it this morning. Luckily I'd already copied and pasted a key passage from it)

""A total of 453 interviews were conducted. Of the 66 patients interviewed, 59 were included in the analysis, 88% of whom reported experiencing at least one dream or vision. Almost half of the dreams or visions (45.3%) occurred while asleep, 15.7% occurred while awake and 39.1% occurred while both asleep and awake. Nearly 99% of ELDVs were reported by participants to seem or feel real.

Most commonly, dreams included deceased friends and relatives (46%) and living friends or relatives (17%). ELDVs including a theme of going or preparing to go somewhere were common (39%). Dreams and visions featuring the deceased (friends, relatives, and animals/pets) were far more comforting than those of the living, the living and deceased together, and other people and experiences. As participants approached death, comforting dreams/visions of the deceased became more common."

A later passage in the article deals specifically with the general frequency of such experiences and suggests a reluctance to report unless directly asked is the reason for the perception in other papers that it is less common than this report finds it to be...the majority of conscious patients at the end of their lives, they attest, appear to have comforting dreams or visions as death approaches.

Thanks for that information, Lawrence B. I know of two elderly gentlemen who died recently, and in both cases they spoke of traveling. One was concerned about getting packed for his trip, and the other had a vivid dream or vision of boarding a train, which he described several times (unprompted) in subsequent days.

TES and Lawrence, As I said, the residents in the hospice I know might just not be communicating their visions and dreams. I'm not comfortable asking them outright. It's a violation of privacy.

I guess I sort of expect them to just come out and talk about it. That may be an unrealistic expectation.

I'm sure there are few reading the comments on an old thread, but if you'll permit me I can outline all of the potentially paranormal incidents surrounding my brother's current circumstances.


Most accounts of End of Life experiences come second hand from family members or medical staff, or else are the sometimes confused expressions of wonder from the presumed bewildered elderly. The fact my brother is relatively young, interested in the topic and fully of sound mind means we're in the unusual position of having him recount objectively and analytically the experiences as he has them. Its the intention for him to do so as things progress. I'll separate each anecdote by an asterisk for ease of reading this long posting.

*
Three weeks ago I had one of my recurring dream themes...that of a ghost or invisible entity in the house grabbing me from behind. I'd had a number of these a couple of years ago and so looked back at my private messages for my previous account of them. The last such dream reported was in June 2013. The supernatural aspect of the dream is striking in itself, but it was the rediscovery of the initial dream plot itself that was startling. My account of June 11, 2013 reads:

"One of my brothers had died. My other siblings variously acknowledged and grieved the fact but I seemed rather unemotional, not sufficiently distressed, for perhaps a week, and then it began to sink in and properly hit me...my brother was dead...he was never coming back, and I began to sob and sob and found myself lying down in my bed (as I actually was), in the dark (as it actually was), curled up (as I actually was) and crying in grief and saying to him, prayerfully, if you live on, if there is anything to this, show me now, just show me....and a sensation came over me of something happening, and an invisible presence, once more, grabbed me from behind and pulled me at great speed. In my real bedroom I'd have instantly come into contact with the wall but in the dream sensation I clearly went far beyond that point and found myself at rest, still curled up in the dark, opened one eye, tried to focus and found I was looking at the top corner of hte inside of a front door with glass panels (like my own one actually is but somehow slightly different). I lay there for several long seconds trying to take this in as if in fact I had indeed just woken from a dream. I then opened my eye a second time, for real, and found I was in exactly the same scenario as I had just been, but the front door was replaced by the dark shapes of my own bedroom after all."

I did speculate at the time as to whether I'd had some form of OOBE. But the thing of immediate interest is the dead brother plot...this was 30 months ago. He'd shown no sign of ill health until last summer, and no diagnosis till 2 weeks ago.

*
While awaiting confirmation and prognosis he reported a particularly vivid dream in which he was in an all white room. Someone he knew is confused at him being there, saying he shouldn't be. There were names above doors and someone explaining only those whose names were written were coming in. My brother's name was written in the wrong order suggesting their might be a mistaken identity issue.

A week or so later the friend in the dream - who he'd not seen in a long time - phoned him out of the blue.

*
Wednesday of last week, he reports, he had a dream again marked by its vividness which involved himself and his daughter by a large lake of water and there was a dark cavernous hole inviting him in, deeper into the dream. Though he had no fear and was not admonished for declining the suggestion, he decided not to go deeper, with a sense that he might not have the time to do so

*

Saturday morning just gone, 6am the nurses in the hospital (he's been in for two weeks since his diagnosis) woke him to give him his usual pain killers. Unable to get back to sleep he lay on the bed with his eyes closed and must have dozed off because the next thing he's aware of he's sitting on a chair or seat, and either hears or is made aware that he has a visitor. He looks around and there is our late father (dead 15 years). He's got an umbrella folded up in his left hand and his face is red and wet as if he's just come in from the rain. Above all he looks amazing, a younger incredibly well, almost Hollywood version of himself. My brother simultaneously thinks/says how amazing he looks and what is he doing here. At this point however he believes he deliberately decided to wake himself up because "it was too vivid".

Although clearly not physically real, and having elements - dozing off, waking up - of normal sleep he nonetheless does not categorise it as a dream. It had the perceptive quality of waking reality.

His subsequent commentary emphasised his fascination with how amazing dad looked (he claims never to have known, as I informed him, that it was a standard claim in these cases that the deceased look young and healthy), his bewilderment at the umbrella and what it could mean (something he could never imagine our father ever using), and his own decision to back out of it, which along with the cave dream makes him speculate he himself is deciding to stay here.

*

Same morning - fully awake - he heads to the hospital elevators. A woman and a young boy are walking ahead of him and a number of odd perceptions occur to my brother...

1) The random thought "odd someone should kill two people like that" enters his head (!!) 2) Despite his own shuffling slow pace the pair never get any greater distance from him 3) He's particularly struck by the lack of belonging between the two..no sense of maternal connection, communication, body language and neither is carrying anything such as a bag. 4) The boy is dressed, he decides, very much more like a child of the 60s or 70s would be. 5) as he looks at the young lad more closely the thought impresses upon my brother that "That's me!", that is he was looking at what appeared to be his own self at that age.

This report is inevitably bewildering on many levels and of course they may just have been ordinary flesh and blood people. What we have is a record of my brother's own internal dialogue and perceptions.

*
Again, Saturday morning, coming in from outside the hospital he turns to thank someone whose guiding arm he felt helping him through the door...but there's no one there.

*
He spent the morning speaking to various nurses on the ward all of whom had countless tales to tell of such experiences, of which they were all convinced..people sometimes see people they don't know and get frightened, but mostly its loved ones, he's told. ("I now know if one comes for me it will be dad" my brother says) They've also witnessed the dying patients describing a hole opening up in the ceiling etc.

His favorite account from the head nurse was of her own nephew - a notorious joker apparently - whose coffin was laid out in his mother's house, but had to be kept closed due to the illness he died from. On the day of the funeral they received a phone call from the Fire Service saying they'd had a call logged from that number saying someone was locked in and couldn't get out.....

*

My Aunts and Uncles have been dropping like flies lately. One of my Mum's brothers in law died two days ago in the same hospital my brother is in, another 2 months ago. Apparently, my brother reports over the phone, the latter's wife - my Aunt Alice - had a post-mortem experience similar to my brother's encounter with our dad. She fell asleep on the couch, when she opened her eyes her recently deceased husband Billy was sitting in the chair...

Lawrence sorry for the physical loss of your relatives. Thanks for posting these very personal observations. I for one will be checking back for anything else you may wish to share. Take care.

Sorry for reawakening this.

My brother passed away last night. It will seem to some, perhaps, odd or cold that I'm writing this update in a casual tone on the day it happened. But as per the dream I find myself, for the moment, oddly unemotional. Perhaps it will sink in later as the dream suggested.

I update it now to express some thoughts and observations while fresh about the expected - and failed to arrive - paranormal aspects of his passing.

What the future may bring, who knows. And we have the secret "sign" we agreed upon. But anticipating his death, and given both my interest in all we discuss here and his conviction about survival, I expected more. I actively anticipated I would at least have a vivid dream before his parting. There was none. That my sleep would be disturbed, that a farewell visitation of which I've read so much from others, would occur at the moment it happened. Nothing. At the very least that our mother, thanks to dementia unaware and uncomprehending that she has lost a son, would in the morning act strangely or say something aptly odd that would pull me up in my tracks. That never came to pass. The day is ordinary and his passing heralded only by a morning phone call from my sister.

And there is in that silence a certain loss of faith, if you can call what I had faith. Surely, some part of me thinks, if all these tales I read are true, here's where it would manifest for me and remove all fear of death. The newly dead are doubtless busy...but as we hear they are not always so, then why him, why now?

Maybe a sign will come in due course. But I'd have liked a clear goodbye. That would have settled it for me forever. Maybe.

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