Material girl

The homepage of my ISP asked this trivia question today: What is Barbie's last name?

I didn't even know she had a last name. It turns out she does. In fact, she has a whole biography. The Wikipedia entry on Barbie tells us:

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. According to the Random House novels of the 1960s, her parents' names are George and Margaret Roberts of Willows, Wisconsin. Barbie has been said to attend Willows High School in Willows, Wisconsin and Manhattan International High School in New York City, (based on the real-life Stuyvesant High School). Barbie has an on-off romantic relationship with her beau Ken (Ken Carson), who appeared in 1961. Like Barbie, Ken shares his name with one of [Barbie creator] Ruth Handler's children. Mattel announced in February 2004 that Barbie and Ken had split up, but in February 2006 they were back together again.

Barbie has had over forty pets including cats and dogs, horses, a panda, a lion cub, and a zebra. She has owned pink convertibles, trailers, jeeps and more. She also holds a pilot's license, and operates commercial airliners in addition to serving as a flight attendant. She has been, among many others, a veterinarian, an astronaut and a diplomat.

Barbie has indeed had an impressive variety of careers. In addition to the ones mentioned above, these include cheerleader, paleontologist, NASCAR driver, president of the United States, and yeoman on the Starship Enterprise.

The downside of Wikipedia's open-to-everybody style of editing is revealed in the discussion page about the Barbie entry, in which the more serious contributors complain about constant vandalism of the page by sarcastic kids. Here is one of many revisions that had to be deleted:

Barbie is a piece of crapy plastic that perverted 4 year olds adore. Unfortunately it is also the best-selling doll launched at the American International Toy Fair on March 9, 1959. The doll is a cheating slut who cuts out on 6 of her 9 husband one of whoms name is Steve. He was a scuba diving whale massacrer produced by Mattel, Inc. Barbie dolls and related accessories are all infected with multiple diseases which upon contac can kill a squirell, put an adult into a coma, or turn a child into an apple.

After numerous similar incidents, Wiki had to protect the Barbie page from further abuse by making it harder to revise.

The discussion page also notes this embarrassing incident from Barbie's past:

In May 1997 Mattel introduced Share a Smile Becky a doll in a hot pink wheelchair. Unfortunately, the Barbie Dream House was not handicapped accessible. Becky couldn't fit through the door or in the elevator.

And it gives us this Barbie joke:

A man goes into a shop to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter, looks at the various models on display and asks the shop assistant in a puzzled way: "Why is Divorced Barbie so much more expensive than the other dolls?" "That's easy, sir," replies the shop assistant. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's furniture..."

Comments

[dave]

For you ken and Barbie fans I would like to inform you that ken and Barbie exist in real life. They have changed their names but Barbie now owns a yoga studio that is in reality a gold mine and ken is a doctor. They have a beautiful baby boy who is the cutest boy in the world. Yes he even has curly blond hair. Both were born with silver spoons and their life is from all appearances perfection defined.

Even though they both were born in the United States they met at college in a foreign land and fell in love at first sight. They live in a beautiful house with acreage and have many animals. They drive a SUV but the kind that runs on batteries and gas as Barbie is extremely environmentally conscious and also shops at whole foods and I might add had her healthy baby boy the natural way at home.

By the way they are both extremely nice people especially ken who always has a smile on his face; come to think of it so does Barbie, but it appears that Barbie is in control and ken knows his place as the husband of Barbie.

If you think I am making this up I am not. This is the inside narrative at the yoga studio where I do my yoga. If a couple looks more like ken and Barbie I have yet to see it. They both share a perfect likeness to this famous couple. If the American dream is for real this couple has it.

[Matthew C]

Great article!

[Markus Hesse]

*NEWSFLASH*

Ken is gay.
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Now sports.

[Eric]

Whatever he's into, poor Ken doesn't have the equipment to do anything about it...

oh the humanity!